


The Letters || Teen Romance Logicality

by watchoutforthefanfics



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Fluff with a dash of angst, Gay, M/M, logicality - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24560131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchoutforthefanfics/pseuds/watchoutforthefanfics
Summary: Logan has been stuck on Patton, perhaps ever since he met him. As kids, Logan never finds the nerve to say anything to him and simply loves in silence. When Patton falls for someone else and moves away after, Logan is devastated and expresses his feelings through tidily kept letters. Letters he never plans to send. But what if his friend has something else in mind?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 13
Kudos: 65





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> For the first chapter, bare with me.
> 
> It was a Tumblr post, where I was just describing a story rather than writing one. As it goes on they turn into normal chapters, but this one is not.

Logicality, but as teen romance. (Like I love a good domestic glasses gays, but…)

Imagine one of those aesthetic young adult romance books with sunsets, and sneaking out, and stupid, stupid unrealistic love.

With Logan and Patton.

Imagine Patton being so loved as he radiates positivity and is a classic goofball. But also imagine Patton as the naive boy who believes love is meant to last forever.

Imagine Logan as the cynic, thinking love doesn’t stick. “People change, keeping that connection is impossible.”

Until everything changes, when Logan meets Patton on the fourth of July. And he so desperately doesn’t want to believe what he feels in his chest, but god, Patton is so cute with his hair all messy and the light of the fireworks lighting up his skin just right and Logan is convinced his smile is the sun.

And he knows he’s screwed.

Imagine meeting up at an old abandoned park, where the swings squeaked too loud and the picnic tables were chipping away. But, Patton knew it had the best spot for sunsets and he was so, so right.

Imagine sitting in meadows where the smell of flowers was unbeatable, and where Patton would tell the stories of unbreakable bonds and love worth lifetimes. And despite what he said being unrealistic, Logan can’t wait to hear more.

Imagine Patton smelling like strawberries, a delicate scent that flows through Logan, trailing in feelings that he’s never dealt with before. Wishing he could tame them, and finally do something. But everything is just so new, and Logan is just so… Scared.

Imagine Logan falling too hard and too fast when everything comes crashing down on him and he can feel Patton slip out of his fingers. It feels like just a split second and Patton is lacing his fingers with someone else. Because god, Patton was in love with love and how could Logan be so stupid.

Imagine Logan running away from the sweet memories because he thought he could do the impossible and love the sun when he was just a meer cloud.


	2. Writing To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan expresses his love, in the safety of unsent pen and paper.

Logan writes letters, for years he writes what he feels and how he felt it so desperately for Patton. He never plans to mail them, but they are hidden away in a box for years, spritzed in a deep scent of strawberries.

It takes him a few years to even stop looking at them, nonetheless, writing them. And soon, Patton becomes a lost dream that Logan would do anything to achieve once more.

Love isn’t a focus in his life, as he grows, and it never will be. His parents were inexplicably divorced, and the one opportunity he had flown away from him in the quickest of blinks. So, he waved it off.

Years were quick to pass him by, as he focused entirely on the academics. He was supposed to be a doctor, that’s what his Mom told him anyway.

“Money,” his mother sighed over the stacking up bills, “-forget passion, Logan, you need to pay for things. I want you to be happy, but… we’re struggling and we need it, Lo. That’s more important.”

And with no doubt, his classes were passing with all ‘A’s but Logan began to realize there was something he was missing. He felt like he couldn’t live so empty for the rest of his life. So, he made an effort to make friends, which originally failed miserably…

Until he met a dramatic, gay disaster of a theater actor: Roman Rose.

The two, although an odd pair, were the best of friends by the end of sophomore year. Possibly because of their dramatic reactions or just their unique senses for the dramatic flare.

But, it didn’t matter because the two were best friends, and practically inseparable.

And one night, a year of friendship passed, where the stars shined so bright; Roman shared his story to Logan. A tale of sandcastles and playground swings, this time of a boy with the deep scent of lavender and the prettiest eyes Roman had ever seen.

With a mist in his eyes, Roman spoke of his yearning for the boy, even after years of not seeing him. Thing was, Roman didn’t speak of a single thing as it was in the past, Logan noticed quite quickly; Roman was still looking.

Logan had cried that night, a desperate cry that held his heart’s cries so gently, and Roman had held him there, no questions asked.

Because he had forgotten about Patton, the only person he had ever truly felt for and it was… soul-crushing.

That night, Logan had carefully pulled a strawberry-scented box off a shelf of nostalgia that had been long forgotten in such a hectic mind. Reading the letters, Roman bubbled with ideas and for the first time in a long time, Logan fell back into the sweet scent of roses.

And if in all of this distraction, one of the letters was shoved into a book bag with hope for a friend; Logan didn’t see it.


	3. The Best For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's reaction to the letter disappearing is simply described as... shutting down.

It takes exactly two weeks for Logan to notice a letter was missing, two weeks of trying to throw Patton into the void. Until he decided to write again.

He had pulled down the strawberry-scented box, a carefully written letter folded into an envelope placed in his off-hand. When he decided to get lost in the other letters, absorbing all the lost feelings and raw emotion in each page.

And then, he realized. One was missing, one remnant of a windy, lonely night just a few months after Patton left. The words were right there, pouring into his head, but the letter wasn’t anywhere to be found.

The fear, that crept under his skin, biting at his breathing was cold and unforgiving. A fear he hadn’t felt in… ages.

Logan felt bitter towards love once more, no matter the feelings or the moments they had. He felt sick thinking about him, sick of being left behind and sick of placing such a false dream in the way of his success.

Being hurt like this… It wasn’t worth it.

So, he tried.

He tried to scrub away the scent of strawberries, the colorful fireworks of July, the creaky swings, and the boy of sunsets and strawberries altogether.

He tried to give up on it, lock it away somewhere deep in his brain, and never look at him again.

Because it hurt, correction, it still hurt.

But there he was, every day, scribbling new words onto tear-stained pages, doused in the scent of strawberries. The handwriting becoming more frantic and confused, as his mind bubbled with feelings and uncertainties-

The letters became a constant, a heaven when his mother was reprimanding him on a B, a heaven when Logan couldn’t return Roman’s calls, a heaven when Logan felt like everything was slipping through his fingers again.

It’s funny because Patton was the first one to slip right out of his hands, but now, he was the only thing keeping him stable.

Patton was such a beautiful, flowing waterfall with rocks that shined so brightly, but his current was too fast.

The water was rushing past Logan, and he couldn’t find a way to stay afloat, it was drowning him. Drowning him.

But, still, Logan wanted to stay; he wanted to be able to take the current at full speed, to see the waterfall at its greatest point.

He wanted to watch the fishes flow gently beside him, instead of trying so desperately to breathe.

But who was he kidding, Logan couldn’t take the current. He was just a weak twig, floating in the river, meant to be stocked away somewhere else; the current was meant to push him elsewhere.

It wasn’t realistic for such a twig to push against or even stay still in such a current; yet, here he was, scribbling down his promises to stay in the current, be at it’s strongest point and stand with pride, instead of flowing down the river where he should’ve been.

He claimed he’d do whatever it takes to stand that current, to just be with or even just see such a beautiful sight as the waterfall. Even though he didn’t deserve it.

Because deep down Logan always knew it: what kind of twig deserved had the strength to be anywhere near a waterfall?

It certainly wasn’t himself, so broken and weak, he didn’t feel like he could carry that weight again. That weight of Patton being with someone better.

Even though, Patton deserved it. Logan… couldn’t handle it; he had always, always wanted Patton. Nothing different.

But, Patton hadn’t always wanted him. And it was clear that chilly night when Logan watched him lace hands with someone else.

He flinched at the thought as he said. It still hurt, and at this rate, he was sure it would always hurt.

So, he locked himself away again; Roman’s calls weren’t returned, and academics replaced the first priority in his mind.

After all, Logan was sure he was going to lose him, just like everyone else. So why not be in control?

Why not leave them first?


	4. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere, far, far away... Patton receives a letter.

Nostalgia.

That was the first thing Patton felt when his Dad had handed him a letter, drenched in the smell of strawberries with handwriting that he had long forgotten.

It was an odd feeling, knowing a smell so strongly. It was his favorite scent a few years ago, and he was told many times that it felt natural to him. He still wore it a little bit, just on a few spared occasions; because, oddly enough, it hurt to smell it.

Not like in an allergy type of way, but someone attached to such a smell attached itself to him. Like he’d forgotten something so, so important but he was sure he hadn’t, right?

He shook it off, trailing into his room with such a curiosity that he was sure you could feel it in the air.

Because not only had it been his nostalgic scent, the handwriting –so neat, and perfect– had been so… familiar. Yet, not.

Like this was their best, and he had usually seen their worst. Whoever wrote this, really wanted this to be perfect.

So, he’d make sure it would stay that way.

He carefully pulled open the envelope, two pieces of paper and a square picture falling onto his sheets. One was worn, stained with charcoal and eraser markings; the other seemed quick, brisk and quite new with the bright, red words ’Read this first’ written fancifully on it’s front.

And Patton, although unsure, decided to believe the person; he felt it was the right thing to do anyway.

’Okay, so’ it read in delicate red pen, ’my name is Roman, Roman Rose. I’m giving you this letter on behalf of my best friend, Logan; I’m not sure if you remember him. But, he wrote letters to you because he fell in love with you, which may be a bit of a shocker. (The other note in the envelope is one of them.) If you want to see him, there should be a picture from my last birthday with him in there too. You can… keep it, if you want. If you’re not interested, just mail me the picture and letter back and we can act like this never happened. I’m getting off track; just read the letter. ~Ro.’

It was fast, a quick wave of thoughts and memories and moments, as his mind settled on the single word: Logan.

It was like he had gotten in a wave; feelings, memories, and soft smiles with a boy in boxy glasses flooded him.

Logan.

Logan.

Logan Reilly, the boy with just enough freckles scattered across his nose and the brain of 100 scholars.

Logan… loved him?

Patton felt like a wave was crashing into him, sure, but he wasn’t drowning. It wasn’t violent, it wasn’t pulling him under, no.

It was surrounding him, whole, and he could breathe it, the water-filled his lungs and it was so refreshing.

Not only was he unafraid, he was happy enough to stay in the wave. It was so… nice.

Patton was eager to latch onto those past feelings that were creeping just under his skin, as he scattered to the other items tossed hazily on his bed. His hands searched for the small square, and when he found it he let out such a sigh of relief.

The picture was simple, it was a boy in a pair of boxy glasses, a very familiar boy; just this time with sparkling eyes and a sharper jawline. It… had been so long, had it not?

His skin was flushed, a wave of red over the pale tone and… he could still see the freckles.

Logan.

Patton’s heart ached, a soft tug that would’ve ripped him apart if he would’ve thought about it too much; but he luckily had another letter to read.

He picked up the letter in his open hand, refusing to let go of the picture of such beautiful joy.

He was hit by a few scents; the ever-familiar strawberry, a tad of paper, and…

Peppermint.

It was a fresh smell, that Patton had always found comfort in; yet, he was never sure why.

Logan was so collected, such a fresh but subtle smell felt as if it was in his veins. It was so calming, and he had missed it, he had missed Logan.

With a deep wift of subtle peppermint, Patton’s mind bubbled up with constellation names and obscure facts about flowers. All things shared in hushed nights under the brightest stars Patton had ever seen, with a heart full of desires and loves.

Too bad, he couldn’t notice what was right beside him; a heart full of adoration for him, and a cute boy with boxy glasses with dreams of spreading knowledge to the world.

’Dear Patton,’ it started precise, and careful, just as Patton imagined it to be.

’I just started coming back to these letters, after some time. Yet, I realized a little too late a few things, and I believe this is the best way to tell you.

If, by some miracle you’ve already read the ones before this, you already know. But, I do highly doubt that probability.

I’ll start with a story, which you may or may not remember. It was a cloudy night, we could hardly see the stars but we were still out there. And you were talking about what you wanted from a boy, what you needed to truly feel special.

You wanted a bear, flowers, and daily letters. I remember it, so clearly that I might in fact have a photographic memory.

You’ll never know this, but I picked daisies for you. Beautiful white daisies, that I kept properly until I could give them to you. I begged my mom for a bear, she got me a bunny with overalls, and I began to write these letters.

It’s quite funny. These letters written to talk about my feelings started because of you.

Everything is because of you.

I’m…

I’m sorry for never telling you. If I had, we might be in a bit of a different situation now; if you felt the same.

But, who knows? Maybe one day you’ll see these letters and maybe you’ll love me then?

Unrealistic.

\- Logan’

Patton was silent, as he stood; opening up his closet which was currently just a dusty memory log.

He carefully stood on his tippy toes, reaching back onto a shelf that held a few things from the years he knew Logan.

In his hands now, was a stuffed bunny with carefully stitched overalls; up until this moment, Patton had believed it was from a boy he adored that broke his heart.

He had found it in his locker on an off day at school with teary eyes and hushed laughter; it was a gift that had brought him through tears. But also, a gift he had desperately tried to throw away after his heart failed once more.

Logan was so much more to him than he had realized, he thought it was so simple and refined but of course, of course, he loved Logan.

With peppermint filling his lungs, a picture laying beside it, and a bunny propped up on a bucket of pencils, Patton found a paper and began to write as if his life depended on it.

Because at this point,

Logan deserved a letter back.


	5. The Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is very surprised, speechless even. When Roman shows up at his door, his hands full of letters; Logan couldn't be more... excited.

It was a quiet day in the Reilly household, doors shut and productivity on the rise. Logan sat in his room, scribbling away on some letters and trying desperately to work on his summer reading as well.

It was difficult, but he could multitask.

It was all nice and peaceful, until Roman came bouncing into his door with a look in his eyes that Logan couldn’t quite describe: hope, maybe?

In his hand, stuck forward was an envelope; an envelope smelling deeply of peppermint, and wide, bubbly letters addressed to him.

Logan Reilly.

It took him a minute to process it, to wrap his head around what such words meant or even what the envelope meant. But when he did, Logan froze, eyes wide and heart roaring, Roman had done it.

With a hesitant hand, Logan grasped onto the paper, and he had a quick moment of regret, what if he was just rejecting him? What if he hurt again?

Roman was silent as he did so, like an understood notion that passed in the silence.

“Is this-?”

“It is.”

And with the softest exhale of relief, his body softened and suddenly everything didn’t seem so cloudy and the bitterness dissipated off his tongue.

He carefully opened the envelope, falling onto his bed with a few airy breaths and a set of sobs on the verge of spilling from his eyes.

It was what he had dreamed of, Patton responding. It was what he had always wanted deep in his chest, despite the reluctance to send them.

And god, it was liberating.

Logan hadn’t even opened it yet, and he felt so much lighter than he ever been. He could smell the strawberries and the grass underneath his fingertips. It was so refreshing, from what he had been drowning in before; all this hatred and resentment for a boy that didn’t even know that he loved him.

With a bit of hesitation, Logan opened the envelope. It was quite full, with a letter, two smaller notes, and a picture that he couldn’t quite see.

He had to be completely careful; if anything happened to any of it, Logan wasn’t sure there would be anything short of tears.

His eyes caught on the brightly-colored names, on the two notes: Roman and Lo-Lo (Hope you don’t mind me bringing this back :P).

He smiled, his heart beating so fast he didn’t think he could handle it; but of course, he could, he used to have to handle it, every day. Under the sunniest skies and the cloudiest nights, Logan had to hold himself back and he didn’t think he’d ever regret it… until he did.

Roman, seeing his name, climbed onto his bed just beside Logan and snatched it out of his hands with a look of ‘Hurry up, nerd!’ practically radiating from his eyes.

‘Hey!’ Logan chuckled, Patton was still as energetic as he remembered.

‘So, I know it’s been ages and that you didn’t send the letter to me, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m really happy that it got to me. I… I missed you, a lot more than I think I realized. Anyway, there should be a picture of me in there with a very familiar face. In case, you wanna see how I look; because Roman sent something of you… Which by the way, you are quite the cutie ;). Um, anyway, that’s all. OH, and read the letter. ~ Patt <3 <3 <3′

Logan, after promptly shoving Roman teasingly, scrambled for the picture; it was placed neatly in the envelope, just as he left it. 

He felt his breath leave his lungs, as his eyes focused on the picture set just in front of his eyes; it was Patton, dressed in a cuddly, beige cardigan and a white sweater. His smile reached his eyes, his curls a bit thicker than he remembered, as he cuddled… a bunny in overalls.

Logan was going to hyperventilate, he swore his lungs weren’t working anymore; if he was cute, Patton had to be angel levels of adorable.

Before he could pass out though, he had a letter to read; a letter he was a little scared to face because what if he was rejecting him, what if it was stupid to even send it to him?

The fears were biting desperately at his heart; yet, he still began unfolding the letter, as if his thoughts weren’t founded in any sort of reality.

Maybe, they weren’t.

’Dear Logan,’ it was straight to the point, unlike Patton, but he was sure he was just mimicking his letter.

’I’m not actually sure how to start this. At first, I thought it would be just the same as always; like in the meadow.

But it isn’t.

Not in a bad way, it’s just what we had back then was different then what –I hope– we’ll have now. Because back then, I was a stupid preteen that loved love and you, you were the nicest boy I missed.

Ya know, sometimes I think about if I had pursued you from the start. Like if I had kissed you one of those nights under the stars when your eyes were sparkling and you were so… happy. But I think it was kinda pointless, right? Because we were young, we still are, but it’s different now.

We’re different now.

This feels too serious to be coming out of my hands, but you have tons of letters to wrap up your feelings. And this is my first, soooo. Kinda makes sense when you think about it.

Anyway, we’ve changed, Logan. We’re so much different than before, and everything should be different… Because…

I might kinda, sorta, possibly, maybe… be in love with you.

And I may have been for a while now.

And I was stupid.

And I love you. Did I say that already?

Because I really, really do, love you, Logan Reilly.

And I know Roman may or may not have lied, and the feelings may or may not have faded a long, long time ago because let’s face it, I’m a bit… late. :/

Which I’m sorry for, by the way.

But, it’s not important to me. Not right now. I just need you to know that the boy in the boxy glasses with the sweetest smile in the w h o l e UNIVERSE –I’m pretty sure– has had my heart for a while now.

And I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner.

~ Patton’


	6. The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton just thinks about Logan and their blooming relationship. With his friend Virgil back from a trip, he can't wait to tell him everything.

Patton was practically jumping in his place, he was absolutely ecstatic.

Rocking on his heels, he hummed as he carefully danced around his room with a familiar soft tune echoing the walls.

Logan’s letter was coming today and it took all he had to not jump out the door to his mailbox, or attack the mailman.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t running back and forth from the door, waiting for a knock or a truck in the window; he was ready.

And if he jumped at the door when a knock echoed through his house, nobody but his Mom expressed concern.

His hand swung open the door as fast as he possibly could, and his heart fluttered at the thought of a new letter.

But, instead of a mailman, stood a familiar face with the deepest purple hair he had ever seen. Patton was possibly happier than before, his smile wide and bright, as he scooped up his friend in the tightest hug possible.

“Woah, Patt, no need t-”

It took him just a few seconds into the hug to start jumping up and down again; Patton was practically going to burst at this point.

“Virgil, you’ll never believe what happened while you were off in-”

“-London, Patt.”

Patton smiled, guiding his friend to his room carefully with a story of a boy with boxy glasses under the twinkling stars.

It was a soft-story with echoes of heartbreak and fates; a few tears over lost boys until he caught on the boy who came back before he even knew himself.

Logan, Logan was so precious in a sea of heartbreak; that tears began to fill his eyes as he remembered such pain and how much Logan was to him.

Because Logan was Logan, and he was Patton. It was a fragile destiny that fell into his lap on an off day when had forgotten about those days with the meadow, and he was so lucky to have such an amazing gift of Logan.

“You love him?”

“Of course, I do.”

“How… How do you know? That you love him, I mean.”

“Well, to be fair. I didn’t know until he said he loved me. But it wasn’t a ‘make him happy’ thing… It was like, discovering a rainbow in the middle of a sunny day. Making something so beautiful, even more beautiful. Realizing that it didn’t even rain but you had a rainbow… it’s the greatest.”

The boy who smelt like lavender seemed to have a sense of understanding pass through him, as Patton carefully showed him all the letters he had received and how much they had dedicated to each other.

He told a story for each one, with a spark in his eyes that seemed to light up his world. Maybe Logan truly was his world.

Lights faded, as Patton poured out his heart to his friend; memories of flowery mornings and sweet stories barely grasping reality.

He spoke of his dreams of being with Logan, their first date, and wonderous firsts all across the board.

Patton spoke of how much he ached to hold Logan, an intimate issue that Logan hadn’t known about yet.

It was a deep ache that rattled through his bones, as his eyes gazed over pictures and words coming from a mouth that he wished he could kiss. He thought about the hands that wrote such gentle words, and just how much he wished to hold them.

He wanted to touch him; run his fingers through his hair, kiss his cheek, dance with him, lean his head on his shoulder, hug him so tight he couldn’t breathe, and kiss him senseless.

But he couldn’t.

And to Patton, that was almost world-ending.

“What about his voice?”

“Hmm-?”

“Do you think hearing him could help? Like on a call?”

Patton felt a surge to his heart, the idea of hearing Logan sounded… wonderful. He could hear him say “I love you” to him.

He could hear the words: “I love you, Patton.” coming from Logan’s own mouth.

It would be delightful.

Patton hummed a soft conversation, as he wrote an extra letter to deliver to Logan, hopefully, very soon.

He wasn’t sure he could wait too long; he kind of needed Logan’s voice at this point. To hold him over, until they graduated and they’d finally be together.

(And if in all this talk of love, Virgil spoke from the depths of his heart about a boy that smelled like cinnamon with the brightest smile in the world, only those two would know.)


	7. A New Way to Communicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton loves Logan so much, he needs more than letters.

Logan was walking on air, his head so high in the clouds; it was unusual. He felt like he was on a whole new planet, and everything was so much different than before.

Those nights wondering if Patton loved him flew from his brain because Patton did love him. And he knew that as a fact.

And Logan couldn’t argue with facts.

He felt so much lighter, probably more than he should have, but it was nice and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Patton was such a bright light in his world of darkness, a breath of fresh air in a polluted world. Logan wasn’t sure what he’d do without him at this point; but to be fair, his mind didn’t want to face that issue unless it had too.

Logan hummed, such a soft tone deeply inside his chest, as he sunk into the covers. Dreams of lost dates and picnics at sunset vividly flashing in his mind with a certain blue-eyed beauty.

It was his mother’s call that woke him up from his daydreams, throwing his body up; he rushed down the stairs, absolutely ecstatic at the idea of Patton again.

And when his mother (with a tired smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes), handed him two notes instead of one, the biggest grin he’d swore he’d ever had split onto his face. His heart skipped in his chest out of fear or joy, he truly couldn’t tell you; as he rushed back up to his room with a polite thank you, of course.

He was quick to open them, pulling up a chair to his desk so fast, he wasn’t sure he had blinked within the whole time. Which had to be concerning medically, probably.

’Heyo, Lo-Lo!

I know it’s kinda redundant, but I’ll start this letter off with the obvious: I love you, bee.

But, I wanted to talk about things; because the key to relationships is communication, right?

Before that actually, are we together? Like long-distance boyfriends? I know it’s a little weird to ask these now, but I think we’ve both been through a lot in the love department, and we need to be clear.

Um, the other part. Well, I’m just going to be straight with you (even though I’m gay :P), I want to kiss you, like a lot.

Like I know when we graduate we will be together, but I’m a very touchy person and just honestly wanted to know like where are your boundaries?

Because at my current mindset, the second I see you I’m going to attack you with affection and I just wanted to know if that… was… okay?

Because I want to love you with kisses and cuddles and hugs, and I need to know if you can love like that too.

Er, if you’re okay with loving like that too.

Now that that is out of the way, I’m happy to comply with your boundaries bee, we just probably need to talk about them.

Love you to the moon and back.

~ Patton’

Logan felt hot, his cheeks a vivid, burning red and his ears were probably even worse. Imagining a kiss from Patton was enough to make Logan faint, and at the moment he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

And on top of that, he had never kissed anyone. What if he messed it up?

He shook off the feeling, carefully taking the smaller note onto his hands with a hint of confusion but a deep sense of joy from it.

’Hey Honeybee,

This is my second letter because I talked to Virgil, my best friend who was off on vacation, about my issue; and my dark, strange son had an idea.

My number should be at the bottom of the letter, and I want you to call it as soon as you get this.

Maybe hearing your voice will help me wait out junior year??? If you’re okay with it, that is.

Anyway, just call. We can still send letters if you’d like, I just… might possibly need to hear your voice.

Love you bunches,

Patton <3’

Logan stared at the number, his heart a deep thunder in his chest; as he texted Roman brisk and fast.

And after a few moments, Roman blasted into his room with a supporting grin and motivating words; that spoke to Logan so much his heart was pounding but he typed in the number without hesitation.

• • •

Patton was laughing with Virgil, stories of fantasy animals, and alternate universes echoed into the air without hesitation.

It was nice, as Patton’s fairy lights twinkled down on their faces; the hushed words and giggles floated there in the clouds of nostalgia looming over the sky.

Just until the consistent chime echoed through his room, the chime of his phone.

Cloudy blue eyes meeting dark brown, a sense of understanding smoothed over their skins; as Patton hopped up with a nervous sidestep.

He knew what it was, the number flashing over his screen; his heart almost stopped in his chest at the idea that it’d be Logan on his phone.

Virgil, antsy, practically bled nervousness, as Patton picked up his phone and answered the call.

It was quiet at first, no voices, and Patton almost lost hope; just until rustling echoed through the line, someone was nervous.

“Hello?” a clean, crisp voice spoke with a sense of confusion; and Patton nearly fainted with the swell of his heart.

Virgil with eyes wide, watched as Patton opened his mouth; his voice hesitant and almost afraid, but at the same time, welcoming.

• • •

“Hi,” a voice, as sweet as honey echoed through the phone, and Logan felt a surge through his skin.

Roman’s eyes widened, as he moved his hands frantically; portraying a tone of: “Go on.”

Logan, a bit flustered and confused; held it together as much as he could, and continued.

• • •

“Y-You are Patton, correct?” the voice, a little more decomposed than the first greeting, sent Patton smiling; his stutter was cute.

• • •

“I would hope so, Lo-Lo,” he spoke, so kindly that Logan could swear he felt the warmth through the screen.

It sent a flush to his cheeks, and he was pretty sure his heart had skipped a beat.

• • •

“I… I like your voice, it’s nice to finally hear it after all these years,” he spoke, so genuinely that Patton was sure he was stating the sun would rise again.

• • •

“Your voice is very calm and really tranquil. I love it… Just like I love you,” Patton spoke with such a stable tone, Logan thought he was going to faint.

• • •

“I…” his voice began, careful and considering, “I love you too, Patton.”

His eyes fluttered shut, as he absorbed the words deep into his skin; like a flood of cool water on a hot summer’s day.

• • •

“I could listen to that all day,” his voice unhesitating and sweet, slowly edging into more comfortable than before, giggled.

Logan’s heart raced, remembering that giggle from such a long time ago; it was somehow even cuter now.

• • •

“I missed your laugh, it was always so warm and bubbly. I should get you to laugh more often, I like it,” his voice hummed with a deep chuckle in his throat, that struck Patton right in the heartstrings.

• • •

“I… I missed you, Lo,” his voice spoke sincerely, a sense of relief etched deeply in his tone.

And with a pang to the chest, Logan realized how much they missed for those years he didn’t send a letter; but instead of recognizing it, he just said what he felt.

For the first time, in a long time.

• • •

“I missed you too."


	8. A Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton has a gift for Logan to show him over video chat, and suddenly, the two face the reality of their relationship.

Patton held the two necklaces in his fists so tight he didn’t want to let go. They were custom -made and came out of his own pocket from working part-time at the animal shelter, yet he wouldn’t have wanted to spend it anyway else.

One was a cute, dark blue, cartoonish heart with the word ’Logan’ eloquently written just in the middle of it, in a familiar, pristine handwriting.

(Yes, Patton had sent in Logan’s handwriting to constantly feel like Logan was constantly there with him.)

The other one was timid compared to the shining glitter of Patton’s, it also had a charm. Yet it’s charm was portrayed as a realistic heart, that was light blue with a thick black outline, and had the bubbly letters ’Patton’ edged just in the center.

The room was quiet as he rocked on his feet, debating whether or not to just mail it to his… boyfriend.

Should he surprise him or tell him beforehand and actually come to think of it, he hadn’t known if Logan liked surpris-

His phone dinged, the light casting a brief shadow among the covers, as Patton practically leaped to his bed with no hesitation. Logan meant a lot to him, and Patton wasn't going to miss any conversation Logan took the first step to initiate.

’Can we Skype?’

Patton blinked, concern welling up his chest, as he shakingly typed out a response.

’Of course! Is everything alright, Logan?’

Patton was practically biting his nails at how nervous he was at this point; he was already fueled with emotions and now, Logan was acting suspicious and Patton was conce-

’Yes, everything is alright. I just want to see you and hear you today, I’ve missed you for some reason.’

Patton’s heart swelled in his chest, as he hugged his phone and fell back into his bed with a dazed sigh.

He thought about when he would first meet Logan, and how it’d feel for him to physically be there; instead of through a screen.

He imagined he was way taller than when they had first met, which was apparently accurate because Logan had commented on his height after Patton had complained about reaching the top shelf (“I’d get the ingredients for you, I am apparently remarkably tall.”). And he knew with Logan’s slightly broad shoulders, Patton could cuddle right up to his chest and that’s where he dreamed to be.

He blinked, forcing himself out of his thoughts quickly and harmlessly, excited to talk to Logan and see his cute –yet also– handsome face. (And his voice was just perfection, Patton was sure it was the closest thing he had ever seen.)

’Okie-dokie, Lo-Lo, lemme grab my laptop. Love you, bee.’

Patton smiled lightly, as he watched the bubble type away; Logan was elsewhere, typing a message to him.

’See you then, I love you too.’

Patton smiled, the same feeling washing over him as always, and the spark of hope deep in his chest to one day hold the boy he loved.

He shook it off, thinking about it too much unsettled him and made him feel a little hopeless. So, he couldn’t think about it long.

And with the quick swish of Patton’s movements, the laptop was placed in his lap and soon he was calling his ever-so-precious boyfriend.

But Patton felt something was off, he felt that something had been wrong and Logan just didn’t want to talk about it.

Which was fair enough, but it hurt.

It hurt like the time he had twisted his ankle after falling off the swings in 2nd grade, and he felt… that Logan was almost… ashamed of him.

Patton was knocked back by such thoughts, his mind spiraling as he tried to control it before-

“Patton?” Logan’s voice echoed from the laptop, concern laced in his tone, “Are you alright?”

Patton cleared his throat, “Yes! Yeah, I’m fine, Lo-Lo. Just some… bad thoughts.”

“I’m-” Logan paused, thinking through his words, “-I’m here for you, flower. If… If you need me, that is.”

Patton hummed, a sweet little smile on his face, “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan grinned, a misty look in his eyes, “You are very welcome, Patt. Any news recently?”

“Oh!” Patton lit up, jumping up with a squeal, “-I almost forgot, I have a surprise for you.”

Logan quirked a brow, a warm smile melted onto his cheeks, as he watched with the tiniest gleam in his eyes.

Patton hoped that gleam was just for him.

“You have to close your eyes, silly~” Patton hummed, holding the two necklaces behind his back with the cutest little grin peering onto his face.

Logan chuckled, a teasing tone easing into his voice like water running through a river, “Is that really necessary?”

Patton smiled, “Of course! Unless you don’t want too.”

Logan shook his head, the softest of smiles shining bright on his face, as his eyes fluttered closed.

Patton’s heart skipped a beat, just watching Logan, just being, existing, breathing.

He watched his shoulders fell with every breath he took, as a smile quirked onto his lips, that almost melted Patton.

It was soft and subtle, and somehow portrayed everything Logan wanted him to know; I live for you in the quirk of his smile, You mean so much to me in the way his eyes settled on him, I love you smothered in the gleam of his eyes.

And maybe Logan wasn’t the best at expressing his emotions, but Patton knew what he felt.

It was just something that fell together with the two, Patton was sometimes a little too much and Logan was sometimes a little too little.

But with them both, it evened out.

“Patton?” Logan spoke, concern changing his whole facial expression within a blink, “Are you alright?”

Patton wiped his eyes, a sniffle on his tone (something he hadn’t realized until it had happened), “Y-Yeah, I just…”

Logan’s eyes shot open at the sniffle, his hand reaching out to the screen, he was… he was trying to wipe his tears.

The two fell silent, a realization drifting into the air that was as heavy as lead; how far away were they?

Just imagining the hills and plains and mountains that led to Logan, broke his heart. It broke it like the sudden drop of a vase, out-of-nowhere but quite unforgettable until you fixed it.

And he still had to wait another year.

“I…” Patton smiled weakly, his heart blossoming at the boy in front of him but twisting at what that meant, “I love you, Logan.”

Logan paused, his concern softening just for a second, “I love you too, Patton. And I promise as soon as I graduate, I will be there… okay?”

Patton wiped his eyes, “I know, Lo-Lo. It’s just…”

“Hard,” Logan affirmed, “-trust me, I know. Listen, the second we’re together. I’m never letting you go, alright?”

Patton giggled, “Okay.”

Logan’s face brightened at his giggle, his eyes sparkling for the dim concern deep within his eyes, “Now, I believe you had a surprise for me?”

Patton laughed, “Yeah, yeah, yes. You ready?”

Logan smiled, “Always.”

“So,” Patton hummed, “-I got us something, to feel better about… being so far.”

Logan flinched slightly, but just for a split second, as he quirked an eyebrow in interest.

“I’ve been working part-time at the animal shelter, and I had some extra cash-” Patton began (if his hands were available, he’d be messing with his fingers), “-so…”

Patton pulled his hands in front of him, putting the necklaces in frame with the camera, “Tada!”

“Patton…” Logan spoke, careful and a tone he could only recognize as admiration.

“They’re necklaces! And they’re written in our handwriting, so a piece of us is always right next to our hearts, you know? I thought it would help me or maybe even y-” Patton rambled, his head moving every which way in replacement of his hands.

Logan grinned, his eyes a little misty (but Patton didn’t mention it), “I… I love them.”

Patton’s heart skipped a beat, “R-Really? I wasn’t sure because you always wear that tie, which I love, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want a change to regul-”

“Patton,” Logan laughed, “-I’ll wear it every day I can.”

Patton grinned, the sadness in the air dissipating quietly within the air, “I’m glad you like it.”

Logan smiled, before pausing, “Wait, how much were these? I’d like to pay you back if you don’t mind.”

“No, no, no,” Patton shook his finger at the camera, “-you, mister, are going to accept your gift.”

Logan huffed, lightly, “Alright, but I owe you something.”

Patton nodded, “Deal.”

The conversation was soft, gentle, and so careless of what would cross their paths because at least they had each other.

And if everyday Patton counted down the days until he kissed Logan, Logan certainly wasn’t going to stop him.


	9. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is a perfectionist and needs some comforting from his bf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: A described panic attack

Logan tumbled out of the school hallway, his breathing harbored and the lights flashing too bright for him to even see.

It was so loud, he couldn’t feel the floor underneath his feet.

Yet, all he could think about was the AP Biology test. The one he was sure he had failed-

God, had he failed?

He couldn’t fail, he wasn’t supposed to fail.

How-

Logan squeezed his palm, efficiently grounding himself just enough for him to breath, to focus-

His breathing pattern broke, as it hitched in his chest and he felt his throat clog once more.

It was just a test grade, a small star of such a big, beautiful universe; yet, it felt like his sun had crumbled into his own palms.

He had to have a good grade, what was he worth if he didn’t?

Smart, Logan was always –always– smart. What else did he have? He wasn’t good with feelings, or animals, or peopl-

A routine palm squeeze woke him up again, his hands were now shaking and his glasses were fogged up. But, he hardly registered it as he tumbled into a random janitorial closet, staggered and so, so unaware.

He was afraid, that was all he felt. No sense crossed through his mind, as he sunk to the ground. Carefully squeezing his hand in a pattern, counting in his head.

He- He could remember numbers. Patton always told him to remember numbers.

Patton- Patton.

Logan’s hands were messy, as he dialed a number near and dear to his heart, that at this point, he had no issue memorizing.

His breathing was messy and scattered and heartbreaking, but he could see through his tears. He could almost feel the familiarity of just pressing his name, his name with a shining blue heart by it.

If there was one thing he could focus on, it’d be Patton.

So that’s what he did. He pictured him, with the bunny on his hip and a cardigan wrapped around his shoulders like he had no care in the world. Patton’s smile was so bright, he could feel it; even when it was just a thought, Logan could feel the wave against his fingertips.

It only took him 30 more seconds to begin to call him, to focus enough to form words, because otherwise, the call would be essentially useless.

The ringing was constant, careful, and almost evolving into a murmur; something Logan found… comforting.

“Logan? Hey, I was in the middle of my cooking class. What’s up, bumblebee?”

He sunk in on himself, releasing a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in, as he braced his voice for this.

It was no doubt cracked, and hoarse, as he spoke shakingly, “O-Oh. My ap-apo-apologies Patton, I just required your voice is all. I-I –ahem– I’ll be going no-”

“Woah-” Patton spoke, soft and concerned, and Logan could feel apart of him melt at that, “-hey, no. Is everything okay? You can’t just hang up like that, Logie.”

Logan felt his self-control crumble, tumbling so far away he couldn’t even reach it anymore. He didn’t even realize how far it had already broken for Patton, but he couldn’t say he was surprised.

So, with slippery, messy words, he began sputtering, “B-Biology. I… I think I failed, Patton, it was- It wasn’t. I didn’t know, for the first time in my life, I didn’t know-”

Patton spoke, careful and considerate without a speck of regret, “Oh, honey~”

Logan was sputtering, words he couldn’t even understand but somehow Patton could. He held on, and he responded and he was listening-

“Lo, baby, hey-” Patton spoke, interrupting him as he spiraled –stopping said spiral–, “-everything is okay. I’m here alright, and you are so, so smart. A single bad grade doesn’t define that-”

Logan exhaled, “I-I know. But… w-what am I, if not intelligent? What can I do? What’s-What’s my purpose?”

“Logan Reilly,” Patton’s voice was as soft as a breeze, “-you are the smartest person I know, and this test won’t stop me from loving you. You are so much greater than you know, you are so much better than you give yourself credit for.”

Logan was silent, letting those words sink into his skin, like the Sun on a cool day. It soaked into him, and all he could manage was a quick burst, with his messy voice and snotty nose.

Yet, for some reason, Logan felt that Patton wouldn’t want it anyway else.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Logan. And I always will, okay?”

◇◇◇

Patton was bouncing on his toes, staring at his Skype screen with the biggest of grins; he had 3 days of school left.

3 days until he graduated.

3 days until he kissed Logan for the first time.

3 days until he could feel his hand on his own.

Logan was still in school for another 5 days, but they’d both agreed that they could hardly wait and that Patton should make his way down there as soon as possible.

Which happened to be a day after school was out, so technically it was 4 but Patton liked to be optimistic.

He’d arrive after Logan’s graduation, late that night; or that’s what Logan thought anyway.

“Hi, Patton.”

“Logie!” Patton sat up, with a beaming smile, “-I’m so excited, I almost burnt my cupcakes in baking class because I kept thinking about you~”

Logan flushed, a grin of admiration peering deep onto his cheeks, “I can tell, you resemble a child "hyped up” on candy right now. Did you- Did you make coffee cupcakes? A spike in caffeine could explain this surge i-“

Patton smirked, "The only thing I’m hooked on, Logan, is that intoxicating smile of yours.”

Logan snorted, a laugh echoing out of his lips, “I’d say the same for you. Your smile is quite literally as bright as the Sun, but… in a good way.”

“Good,” Patton hummed, snuggling slightly into his comforters with a pesky childish grin that he knew Logan couldn’t get enough of.

Logan smiled, a lovestruck smile that Patton knew was all for him, “I love you, Patton.”

With a dreamy gleam glazed over his eyes, Patton could feel the sincerity in his voice and could feel himself fall so much deeper for this boy that already owned his whole heart, “I love you too, Lo-Lo. I can’t wait to smother that cute little face of yours in kisses for each star in the sky.”

Logan flushed to his ears, flustered but so, so in love, “I think I’d like that, love.”

“Great!” Patton giggled, “‘Cause there’s no way you’re getting out of it, Lo.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

◇◇◇

Sure Logan knew the day, the question was… did Logan really know the time?


	10. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's in for a surprise, the day he graduates.

Logan couldn't believe it, today was his last day as a highschooler. This was the last time he'd roam those halls with his best friend, last time he'd prove his History teacher wrong, last time he'd sneak a call to Patton in the bathrooms...

Logan was hardly ready, as he stared at his suit laid completely in the center of his perfectly-made bed, and remembered every single thing that he could.

Maybe it was so he wouldn't have to face it, or maybe it was so he didn't forget it on his journey of life.

So he didn't forget all that had brought him here, Logan's eyes steadied on the pride flag stretched just above his bed and felt apart of him just... sigh.

There was a point in his life that he was afraid of that, afraid of who he was and how it would affect his life. Yet, he sat here; his identity flaunted and more in love than he could ever even imagine.

His heart skipped a beat, as his eyes fogged up without a beat of hesitation.

He used to be so afraid of feelings of so much vulnerability and heartbreak, that he tore his heart away from anything it had latched onto. Except, one.

Except for Patton.

Logan's heart swelled, as he smiled a wide broad smile, just thinking about him. About everything Patton had been there for, helped him with, and just how much he had learned from him.

Logan didn't even know how much he didn't know until he met Patton, and began to love him on a level he never even knew he was capable of.

Sure, they were teenagers but Logan felt like he had known him for three decades, and couldn't imagine living without him.

To be fair though, Patton hadn't been the only one to shape him.

His eyes shifted to a Pride picture sat just by his bedside, with Roman in a rainbow crown and himself with a flag-draped across the back of his shoulders.

Roman had done so much for him, and although he was incredibly annoying, he was heaven-sent.

Roman had been there for a stubborn, arrogant boy when he was at his worst, and helped him accept himself despite never wanting to.

He, oddly, owed his life to Roman. And hoped whoever he ended up with would be worth such an egotistical but loyal prince, otherwise, Logan would destroy them.

Logan didn't wipe away the tears when they sunk down his cheeks, as he picked up the picture frames just by his bed: one of a familiar boy with a bunny and one of Roman giving him a "makeover" when they were younger.

He could feel the tears well up in his eyes, quietly and considerately, and for one of the first times Logan felt in his life, they deserved to fall.

Everything was about to change, Logan found his eyes falling on the robe and cap hanging upon his closet wall, and he couldn't stop it.

With a sigh, he stood and tried to focus, as well as wiped away his blood-red eyes. Remembering distantly Roman's advice with a small smile, "You're a god, teach; all you've gotta learn is how to care for yourself."

A chuckle and his door was opening, his Mom was grinning with teary eyes that Logan had expected, but hadn't had the guts to imagine.

He now knew why.

Her hair was neat --contrary to her usually messy, tossed look--, and her eyes were gleaming with a sense of sadness and... pride.

Logan swallowed that sob that wished to echo out of his mouth because she was proud of him and that's truly all he had ever wanted.

"I-" his Mom began with a guilty tone, but her eyes stayed locked on her son.

"Mom-" Logan spoke, words tumbling, "-you don't have t-"

His Mom shook her head, a smile that gleamed under the swift glance of teary eyes, "Oh, but I want too."

"Logan," she shook her head, running a gentle hand down her face, "-I know, I know I don't say it enough. But I love you, and I'm so, so proud of you. For everything, okay? You should know that I should've told you that mor-"

"Mom-" Logan hummed, wrapping her in a hug that filled a hole in his heart, "-it's okay. You said it now, and that's all that matters. I know."

His Mom wrapped her smaller frame around him, she was gentle but he knew this had meant the world to her. He could tell in the way her grip tightened on him for a split second, like she was holding him as tight as she could, just in case she couldn't again.

"You," she spoke into the air behind him, "You should be whatever you want, Logan. You always should have that choice. I... I never meant to take it from you."

Logan spoke, for what felt like the 10th time that day, "Mom-"

"No," his Mom smiled, pulling back and holding his hands in a quiet moment, "-no, you- You should go with Patton. He makes you happy, I can tell. You deserve to be happy, Logan Alexander."

Logan was quiet, unable to say what exactly he had felt at that moment. It was a complicated slosh of feelings that he didn't exactly know how to... communicate, and found that the silence spoke a lot more than he could say out loud.

"You have to promise me that you'll be happy."

"I-" Logan choked back a sob, tears rolling quietly down his cheeks, "I promise Mom, Patton makes me really happy. He couldn't hurt anything that was relatively harmless."

His Mom smirked, pinching his cheek, "Oh, Logan. I'm so proud of who you've become, Patton is one lucky, lucky boy."

Logan sniffled, "Thank you, I- I don't know what to say."

"Hmm, maybe. This is just a thought-" his Mom rambled with a teasing tone, "-'Mom, I'll invite you to the wedding?'"

Logan rolled his eyes, wiping off his clouded glasses, "You had to ruin it, Mom? Really?"

She smiled, "Anything to get you to stop crying, Logan. Now, looks like you've got a suit to put on, no?"

He grinned, his heart lifted and so full that Logan was honestly surprised he wasn't levitating at how much he felt like it.

This day truly couldn't get any better.

◇◇◇  
Logan's knee was bouncing, he sat just behind a girl named... Stephanie? He thought so anyway, she was confident and incredibly nice.

He would... never see her again.

He'd never seen a lot of people again, that was apart of this moment. His hands were clammy with a stack of index cards practically being squeezed to death in his right hand; of course, he was valedictorian.

Who else would be?

So, he had a speech prepped and ready to launch when he was called upon. He was scared, but a good kind of scared (he cursed himself for a vocabulary change), and he couldn't not say he wasn't practically dancing on his toes at the fact that he would Patton would physically be in his presence soon.

He didn't need to think about that right now, he had to focus-

"-our valedictorian, Logan Reilly!"

Logan's eyes went wide, just for a second as he swallowed down the fear and stood with as straight as his posture would allow.

He cleared his throat, his cards set just onto the podium in front of him; as he quietly wrung out his hands an effective way to calm his stuttering nerves.

"I'd like- I'd like to say that this will be easy-" Logan spoke, careful and pristine with every ounce of confidence in his tone, "-but I'm sure, we all know it won't be. And you all know, I don't like liars-"

A falsehood echoed somewhere in the crowd, a memory of something that had defined him in this school. It was... nice.

"So," Logan chuckled, "-I think we can all agree that it's hard, it is difficult to say goodbye to this. To these walls and these teachers that we are so ever familiar with."

"Even if it wasn't pleasant," Logan added, "-it's hard to deal with change. To label this chapter of our stories with 'The End', and to comprehend the next steps in our lives. Because after all, we're just human."

"Today, however-" Logan transitioned, "-I don't propose an end to you, nor do I propose a clichéd entirely new beginning. I say just keep going, this is just a new layer of your life. Things will change, of course, it is inevitable. But it will only truly affect you if you allow it do so."

Logan paused, beginning steadily, "This is your life, and whether you want to be a doctor, lawyer, or a professional heartbreaker --it is of no importance--because you control it. You live how you want to. What would I recommend?"

"Well," Logan tapped his chin, "-take those who you love-"

His eyes searched for his Mom within the crowd, finding her bright smile in a sea of faces; she sat just beside a familiar fa-

Logan froze, squinting for a second, as his heart halted in his chest; warm curls, round glasses, and the shiniest blue eyes he had ever seen.

Holy-

For a second, Logan forgot how to breathe and where he was because the love of his life was in the crowd-

He cleared his throat, trying to regain himself and cage his ever bursting heart in his ribcage, plus restrain himself from running from the stage at that exact second.

He wasn't even graduated yet, that was too improbab-

"T-Take," Logan began again, "-Take those who you love and choose your journey, choose where you wish to go. It's truly your decision whether or not this is an ending or just another step up the staircase of life. Thank you for the memories, I'm glad I graduated with you all."

There was roaring applause that Logan felt a surge of pride for, but all he could think about was the fact that he had actually seen Patton with his actual two eyes.

He was real, he was here.

He was breathing the same air as him; he was so close to him, closer than he's ever been. Logan could touch him, potentially.

With a racing heart, Logan made his way back to his seat with a bouncing leg but this time for a different reason, that Logan believed was immensely better.

Getting his diploma felt unreal, he was lined up meticulously and he had seen this through a metaphorical lens, he could've sworn that it wasn't real.

That he was enraptured in a fantasy world, but he had to remind himself he wasn't Roman. Everything was real, he was... graduating.

"With the highest honors, Logan Reilly."

Accepting his diploma with a brief handshake and bright smile, Logan swore he couldn't feel more unreal.

This was a new page in a book he was... excited to read.

◇◇◇  
The rest of the graduation ceremony was quick, all Logan could think about was who was up in the stands. Who he had loved but never even seen with his true bare eyes.

But, he controlled himself. He stayed on the bottom floor because that was what his Mom had planned earlier, and Logan wasn't one to break plans. So he sat there, practically bouncing as his eyes flashed to the bleachers and back to the crowd, anything to tip him off would make him start sprinting at this point.

"Hey-" Roman spoke, causing Logan to jump and almost fall over himself, "-Nerd Alert, you look a little, dare I say it, distracted? Everything... alright?"

Logan paused, looking at his best friend, "Yes, yes. Roman, I'm perfectly fine. It seems there is an extra visitor, that I have come unprep-"

Roman burst, "Patton's here! HOLY SH-"

"Woah, Roman-" Logan laughed lightly, "-we are still on school grounds."

"True, true," Roman hummed, he was visibly bouncing, up and down and up and down.

Logan was practically frantic, as he rambled, "I'm actually remarkably nervous, which is quite unusual. I just, I want him to like me, you know?"

"Oh Logan," Roman stood on his tippy toes to see overhead, "-Patton loves you, nothing is ever going to change that."

Logan glanced at Roman, his gaze sweeping slowly back to the crowd, "I know, it's an odd fee-"

Logan's words halted on his lips, his eyes locking with a head of such fluffy curls and the brightest pair of eyes he'd ever seen.

And suddenly he was broken, his eyes locking on him like he couldn't move like he barely even registered that there he was: Patton was right there.

Logan could scream.

Patton wasn't looking at him though, he was leading his purple-haired friend --who he assumed was Virgil-- through the hectic crowd, with a caring and gentle touch.

Logan truly didn't know how to react, should he start running? Should he call out to him? Make noise? What was the proper way to make him see m-

Virgil's dark brown eyes widened as they landed on him, a grin bashfully making it onto his lips, and Logan could see him sputter to Patton. He could see the struggle of trying to explain it until the surprisingly tall anxious boy just groaned and pointed behind him.

Logan lost it when Patton slowly turned around and for the first time, Patton's light blue wonders of eyes locked onto his. His heart skipping in his chest, before Logan could even blink Patton had dropped Virgil's wrist with a quick thump and began running through the crowd to him.

Logan's heart was racing in his ears, as he grinned as bright as a beam of light, and made his way to him through the crowds too.

Step, keep moving, he had to keep reminding himself, ignoring the feeling that was quite vividly tearing his stomach out. He just had to focus on Patton's curls, curls that Logan could feel with his fingertips-

And then, the two found a clear pathway, a section open for just the two of them like a runway for a plane. Before Logan could move an inch though, Patton was already sprinting toward him.

And he was oddly fast, very very fast.

So Logan found himself waiting until Patton crashed directly into his arms and Logan caught him and spun him around to disperse the force. (Totally not for dramatic effect.)

He was touching Patton, Patton was literally right in front of him and he could feel him breathe and his chest move with his laugh.

Logan pulled him close to his chest with a single movement, as Patton dug his head into his neck and wrapped his legs just around Logan's torso.

It felt so right, as he breathed in his distant scent of strawberries, felt his curls against his face.

God, he was real.

He was so real, and warm and lovely. How was this happening? Was it all a dream? It had to be a dream right? It has to b-

Patton pulled back, interrupting his thoughts, and Logan was so close he could see the lightest bit of freckles scattered along his cheeks. He was remarkably beautiful.

Just until Logan noticed that he was crying, tears were slowly making their way down his cheeks, and Logan immediately panicked.

He put him down, crouching slightly to match his height, and it was then he realized he could touch him, there was no screen.

Logan's thumbs were quick, wiping away the flood pouring from his eyes, with a concerned tone, "Love, what's wrong? Is everything alright? Are you okay? Did you get hu-"

Patton sniffled, which was possibly the cutest thing Logan had ever seen, "I'm just-"

Logan held onto the edge of his words, ready to fight literally anyone in a moment's notice; which was unusual behavior but his boyfriend had been way cuter in person than over the phone which is so incredibly impossible, but-

"I'm just-" Patton spoke, a gleam in his eye and the warmest smile that sent "butterflies" straight to Logan's stomach, "I'm just really happy."

Logan faltered, a sloppy smile slipping it's way onto his lips without hesitation, "Oh, Patton. I love you so much, I'm not sure I can handle it."

Patton's face brightened so much, Logan wouldn't mind saying those words for the rest of his life; his smile was entirely too infectious and Logan could hardly breathe from the love that bloomed deep in his chest.  
Oh god, he loved him. He loved him so much he could scream it off the rooftops --which was highly dangerous and improbable--, he'd yell it across the world if he had too.

Patton grinned, placing a hand on Logan's face with just the slightest hesitation, "I... I love you too. I just... I can't believe you're here, with me. You're real. You're... you're Logan."

Logan leaned into his hand, absorbing the warmth flowing through his skin without a shred of rejection or even thought at this point. He was running on adrenaline, adrenaline, and love.

Patton was quiet, just for a second and Logan could feel his whole world freeze with him.

"I..." Patton hummed, inching closer to Logan with every step, "May I kis-"

Logan surged forward because god he had been waiting to do that for so long. He had imagined it many times before, what it felt like to kiss Patton and he hadn't imagined anything less than absolute bliss.

And he was so, so right.

It was slow and warm and sweet, filled with years of wanting to do so, but never doing so. Logan couldn't imagine anything more perfect, as he pulled Patton to him by the waist and wished on every star in the sky that this was real, and that Patton would stay here, with him, forever.

When they pulled away, it was for a breath and not much else. Just until Patton's eyes began to sparkle and Logan didn't think he could ever see anything more beautiful.

"I..." Logan didn't know what to say, he was speechless at this beautiful boy in front of him.

Patton shook his head, placing a finger on his lips with a cheesy smile, "My turn to talk, Lo-Lo."

Logan rolled his eyes, with a shine of admiration in his eyes and love in his heart.

"You are-" Patton spoke in between kisses scatter among Logan's face and he was melting, "-amazing," kiss to the cheek, "-smart," kiss to the other cheek, "-handsome," kiss to the forehead, "-my entire world, and-" kiss to the nose.

Patton grabbed his tie and pulled him down, looking straight at his lips, "-I'm never going to let you go again."

Logan squeaked, and Patton met their lips again, confident and happy and Logan couldn't ask for anything better.


End file.
